Last Updated on August 13, 2020 by Brittany
Life can have so many beautiful moments and painful setbacks and it’s important to know that it is all apart of the process to make you better. I know sometimes it does not feel that way. All setbacks are preparing you for major comebacks. When you are able to change your MINDSET to see things from that point of view it makes the pill a whole lot easier to swallow. Nevertheless while you are enduring the pain of a major setback it is important to know how to move forward after the storm passes (which it 100% for sure WILL) Here are 6 ways to move forward after a major setback.
Have a Pity Party, but Don’t Stay There!
In my honest opinion, it is OK to go through something and just allow your emotions to speak.
Cry, scream, shout, be upset. Whatever you need to do to RELEASE emotion it’s OK. The main thing here is not to wallow in it.
Throw a fit for a day or two but don’t stay there. After you are done releasing the emotion figure out how to calm yourself and get your MINDSET right to think of the next step to take.
“ It’s not about what happens to you, it’s about what you DO about what happens that makes the difference.”Jim Rohn-
Your Worth is Not in Question During a Setback.
In a great article by Hurst, Katherine. “How to Overcome Setbacks in Life and take on New Challenges.”
Katherine discusses a VITAL point to the entire process of life setbacks
“When you encounter a setback, it’s tempting to let it shape the way you see yourself.”
I absolutely LOVE this because like many of us. I have BEEN there. I spent a couple of years in my life trying to get a MAJOR grip on my mental toughness.
I had some major failures, I wasn’t living in my PURPOSE, and to be honest I felt like a downright LOSER.
All the setbacks I experienced in life had me question if I was even worthy of the things I desired out of life anyway (another lie we tell ourselves too often)
The main focus here is that you cannot connect one event or a string of events to who you are as a person.
Tough things happen, but they have no effect on your personal value.
Reflect on What YOU Could Have Done Differently to Change the Setback, and Let Go of What You Couldn’t.
Here is the key here what YOU could have done. What I mean is that MANY things in life are out of our control. You must focus on what things YOU have control over.
According to the “Habits For Well being website” by Jane. “Focusing on What we can control.” https://www.habitsforwellbeing.com/focusing-on-what-we-can-control/
This article goes over what things you CAN control. I think this is a good reminder. You are in complete control over things like.
- My reaction to situations
- My Forgiveness level
- Where I Spend my time
- My effort level
- What I eat
- How much I read (and WHAT BOOKS)!
- My exercise level
The list goes on…
I have compiled a list of things you have ZERO control over so you must see them as blessings of re-direction.
You ARE in control of the EFFORT just not the outcome
- If you got the job
- If you go the promotion
- Getting accepted into the school you want to go to
- Your offer on a house is accepted
- Winning that competition
- Getting first place
- What your spouse does
- What your best-friend says
There are so many things you could think of here the main focus is to put your energy toward dedicated EFFORT (if you are able) not outcomes.
Start Journaling Now.
There are SO many benefits of journaling! So many studies have been taken where it shows without a doubt how journaling can have a positive impact on your life.
Some of the great things journaling can do includes
- Allows you to emotionally release
- Get rid of Negative thoughts
- Relieves stress
- Enhances Physical health
According to Michigan State University https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/journaling_to_reduce_stress
A study published in 2006 in the journal of the American Medical Association found that patients struggling with a chronic illness, who wrote down their thoughts about stressful situations, actually experienced fewer physical symptoms than patients who did not journal.
If you do not already have a journal I highly encourage you to purchase one and begin writing.
Here is a great Place to Start…I found one on Amazon with great feedback, and under 10 bucks 😊
Remember that What is Happening to You is Happening For You.
In my article “ How to Handle What Rejection is Trying to Teach You.”
I talk a lot about redirection or missed opportunities that protect you from unwanted outcomes.
So Many times we completely absorb setbacks as detrimental to our life’s purpose when really they may be CRUCIAL to our lives purpose.
In other words, maybe you lost that job you worked at for 10 years and thought you were going to retire there, but it was keeping you from your God-given gifts so it was necessary for you to lose that job to do what you actually are supposed to do with life.
One of our MAJOR nemesis is life is the “comfortability Factor”
What I mean by this is…. When you are comfortable it weakens your motivation. Here are some examples.
(Nothing is Good or Bad about any of these things they just put you in a state of lack of motivation)
- Not Making the money you desire but making enough to cover the bills
- Married for years and not as focused on your weight
- Feel like you know enough to get by and there is no need for any more personal development ( I literally CRINGE at this one)
- Accepting that you should just be happy with what you have and stop trying to always achieve more.
All these things keep you from excelling. These are lies we tell ourselves to keep us in our comfort zones, keep fear out, and not have to deal with the possibility of failure.
Ladies, this does ZERO for you. You have come here to Level up, right?
If you are thinking this way it’s time to change that MINDSET!
If you knew 10% of what you were capable of you would scare the CRAP out of yourself!
It’s time to take a stand and think of these Rejections as REDIRECTIONS!
It’s Time to Make a Plan After the Life Setback to Move Forward.
So here we are, we have discussed numerous things you can do to move forward after the setback.
Nothing happens without ACTION!
You must put a plan in place to act upon all the things I have described in this post.
HERE’S Where you can start.
- Order your Journal (if you don’t already have one) You can get that HERE
- If you are not a current member of the crew (dun dun dunnnnnnnnnn) I highly encourage you to join us HERE. I have FREE links to Habit trackers, Calendars, Gratitude Logs, and BEAUTIFUL custom-designed daily planners to put with your journal 😊
Now, Let’s get to work!
So Many Blessings,